Adele is a goddess. *cue in Hello by Adele*
And so it begins again.... 5 year later. *phew*
I think I had become of what I had expected to be. More and less at the same time. Well I am, thanks to human genetics, older. To the human environment and tendencies, rougher. To human prerequisite participation, achy-er. But due to self loathing and adamant self denial, most definitely, not any wiser. Double but, because of a former distant pixelated virtual friend, and the now unyielding, ever so loving husband of mine, blissfully happier. It's actually unadulterated, the truth.. It is the kind of happy I thought people only made up for fun. You know, just to rattle our insides. For fun.
The H word. I myself cannot believe it. If I was reading this 5 years go, I'd slap myself left and right until I wake up from this dream. No, erase that, until I wake up from this delusion. Oh my goodness gracious great goblets of fire. A wife at 24. Who would have thought?
I spent the day reading each and every post I unpublished since I started this blog in 2011. (That is now re-published) I have to admit. Some were unbearably painful. Some annoyingly witty and funny. Most made me, stupidly, tear up. But all gave me this exact same feeling that is running through my whole body to my fingertips as I type. There are no words on how to describe it. Think of Tinkerbell's pixidust in liquid form being injected intravenously. That tingly, sparkling, jittery juice you feel running through your veins. I missed this. I missed writing. I missed this feeling of some how translating my wandering, repressed thoughts into these miraculous letters. My hands get me. They understand. They obey. Unlike this stubborn mouth that disagrees with me. It has this filter that rejects the signals my brain sends and decides to be either completely mute or spastic or both.
I have a lot to tell you. Knowing where to begin is the difficult part. Well I got the awkward, "Hey, I'm married!" part covered. I guess we just have to improvise as we go.
I missed you. And you don't have to miss me too. Just letting you know I really do.
I was wondering.... How are you?
Still hungry even after 5 years,
Hungry Rosey
