Rosey vs Herself

No wonder people would say: "You are your own worst enemy." Hell yes. And I couldn't agree more.. You may think that people just can't seem to get a grasp on reality and just accept things as they are-- how they were since the beginning of this harsh planet we call "Earth". Well.. To tell you the truth, I wish that things were that easy.

Can you blame a person for refusing to fight any longer? Would you take it against her when she says that she had just about enough? Is it such a crime to raise the white flag when defeat couldn't be more evident? Sheeesh, people! Can't a martyr have a break? Couldn't you just cut an oppressed human being some slack?

I just don't get it.. How can doing the right thing hurt this bad? And I mean really, really bad. You would think that you'd do yourself a huge favor by sacrificing something inestimable. But why the hell does this "favor" seem like more of a potential REGRET?


Here we go again.. ..couldn't even acquire enough strength to make that first step. That first move toward moving on-- moving forward. Why am I so afraid of losing something that is already lost? Is it really that difficult to let go when it was beyond bounds free to begin with? No matter how hard I try to deny it, I myself know the answer. And it's fucking love.

I want it to stop haunting me. I'm so fed up with myself not functioning anymore. I am starting to operate like an ongoing time bomb that's about to explode any second. I miss nights when I sleep with a smile rather than tears hovering my pillow. But it just wouldn't go away..

Help me dear God. Help me help myself..

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