Hey there. It's Rosey. Stuck yet again in a seemingly familiar corner of this virtual universe. I have this dilemma. It has been over my shoulders for quite some time, constantly breathing down my neck. Heavy, bother-troublesome. And it is starting to itch. Scratching not just the surface but piercing through my core. The kind that you just cannot ignore.
Ah the Youtube. Such a gift to the human society. Its content extends to lengths no one can ever measure nor define. Whatever it is that you are in need for, desperately life-threatening or during a casual, nonchalant "internet stroll", you can guarantee to find it there. In a simple 30 second gist, or a lengthy and complex hour version. I love Youtube! I mean who wouldn't? I go there every single day. (make-up, baking/sugar flower making, aliens, vlogs, foodporn, cute puppies, grocery hauls, exotic snacks, history, art, science, just plain "did you know" facts) Ahhhh I could go on and on. It is so condensed and dynamic, you can literally spend months making your way through this labyrinthine network of everything in this planet. It entertaining, educational, therapeutic AND can be one's source of income. What else can you ask for?
Now. I have been creating a few videos, on and off for quite a while now. My content is mainly my baking/food and a few attempted "vlogs". I could proudly say that I have genuinely worked hard on these. Though I guess not hard enough. I keep losing my mojo and motivation. Making them, not trusting myself enough, disappointments, frustrations. The same old the ugly cycle. I do have to say that what I have gotten from making videos is, I have fallen in love with it. My videos are not artistic nor professionally shot. I use my humble Sony RX100 III. I don't see myself doing this full-time, as I am committed into making my baby Rosey Cakes a priority. But the times when I watch some of my videos, and then smile and say, "Hey, that's actually not pretty bad." and "Ahhh, that is so much better than the last one!". These are the moments that give me the same feeling of fulfillment everytime I finish a sugar flower or a painting. It pushes me to continue and work harder. To make this as part of my life.
So now I challenge myself. To do better. Put more "me" inside. And don't think about the money, failure, hate comments etc. I have to start somewhere. And that somewhere is now.
Rebooting and hungry,
Rosey
PS.
I shall take one month to reboot my Youtube channel. Put more of what I love in it! Wish me luck and stay tuned!
