White Flag

I fell. I fell hard and rough.
I dropped onto the ground with great intensity
There were neither warnings nor signs.
My heart was exposed up to its last veins.
I was caught bare and helpless.
Guilty of weakness and vulnerability


I cried. I cried each time I pictured your smile.
It was almost unbearable.
I was on the edge of losing it.
Crying was the only way I could somehow ease the pain.
Pain that still even with its tiresome trials,
I still stupidly held on.


I waited. I waited for these feelings to go away.
They kept on pulling me, pulling me toward the other end.
Another side which was all bright lights and colors
A very mysterious yet tempting endeavor
Though resisting it wasn’t even a challenge
It was evident that no seduction would ever be strong enough to succeed


I tried. I tried more than my best to make you realize all of these; all of me
Your eyes were closed shut, your ears sealed
It always were, and I believe it always will be
What you could only see was the one right in front of you
The one pretending; the one enduring
You couldn’t see the frowns beneath each smile; the mourn of each laugh


I loved. I loved even if I didn’t know how.
There were neither manuals nor directions to follow
There was no turning back; no second chances.
I didn’t have a clue of what I was getting myself into.
I was not warned of how deeply I could fall
I was addicted to the pain, great pain that was equal to great love.


I surrender. I surrender not in defeat but for salvation
This will save us, save this love from extinction
I know it won’t, it couldn’t
I guess I just loved too much.
Too much than what you needed, less than what I was supposed to.
I raise this white flag not with a goodbye, but with an I love you.


by Rose Diola