Guess WHAT?

You think you're having a bad day? Well.. I'd be more than happy to inform you that there's a person out there-- someone, somehow, somewhere-- having the worst time known to man. So hey, it is still one thing to celebrate about, right?


Through these past couple of weeks-- this persistent abyss of nonstop bitching and tears-- you would think that sooner or later, God will eventually give you a break and tell you that everything would finally come to an end. Yes, I am fully aware. I have no right to complain-- not even the slightest bit. I made all the shitty choices myself. I knew each and every consequence of my every step. I am most definitely the only person to blame. Now.. Do these make things hurt any less? Hell no. If not as painful-- even more.

I am a living proof to my own saying: "When you truly love someone, -- a love that is absolutely life-consuming and undeniably unconditional-- ..that you can never hate a single cell in him/her". Yes people. Sad, but it is true. No matter how hard we try, how hard we attempt to expose our pretentious grins, how much blood we lose from pretending that we do, let us all suck it up and face fucking reality. We do not hate them, we cannot, and we never will.


Now.. Why the hell do bad experiences, hands down, always out do the good? That even when there's a GAZZILLION  good things to be ecstatic about and there's this one microscopic bad-- namely jealousy, anger and insecurity--guess what--  they just win every single time. How can such stupid things destroy such great things? Oh yeah.. Teka. We never had those. No infidelities, lies, even the most minimal of betrayals-- totally zilch, nada, none. So what the hell went wrong? Yep.. I know. We both know. OUR FUCKING STUPID SELVES.


Loving is a privilege. I cannot put into words how grateful I am that now, FINALLY,  I can say that I loved. Hell yeah- loved and felt loved. Even when he doesn't or didn't think so, I knew that deep inside he really did--  he does. I can put my life on the line and testify-- that somewhere in that crowded heart of his-- I had made a tini-tiny dent that hopefully is enough that maybe someday he'll be able to notice.

Like what I said, I do not hate you. I cannot and never will. Thank you for bringing out this side of me-- you made me find out that I had this much love to give-- you taught me that I am capable of loving this much, this real.. Whatever moronic ideas incompetent people would get, we both know-- despite all your bullshits-- we know that what we had was the real thing.

I love you everyday. And now, all I can do is miss you eveyday..

http://www.formspring.me/roseydiola
http://twitter.com/#!/hungryrosey