I have made a fistful of "mistakes" in my infamous 19 years. A couple of f-ed up ones awake and dead. Some that no one couldn't translate into anything else but stupidity. But the most awfully moronic among them all are caused by the biggest fugitive that is the root of all female related evil-- estrogen.
Do you ever wonder how these so called "oopsies" impact others? How our everyday decisions contribute to either a benefit or damage to another human being? Another breathing, thinking rational living thing. I for one rather not know. It's hard enough to think about how to deal with current dreadful shortcomings. Adding something to be guilty about is out of the question. You may say that it's okay to condescend once in awhile. But this is just too much for an "on the edge" 19 year old lassie to handle.
In a way, minimal or major, we are all fugitives. Guilty of hurting others (intentionally or not). That's just how things work. Based on a single day's realisation. I have come to this groundbreaking conclusion: When cards are folded, and we ran out of chips to play, majority of us choose to fleet. Dash away as fast as we could-- as if we'll never reach anything. We'd run away from the blame-- from sharing the pain. We can deny it as much as we want. That's what we are. Agile vagabonds who are most scared of nonetheless, ourselves.
To us who are left behind.
A stranger (literally) just told me (approximately a couple of hours ago) that this would make me a better person. Well for one right this second, I don't feel any nearer to a better me. But hey, it's worth giving a try. (And it's like I have any other choice) I opt to be my own catalyst. Start a movement towards moving on. Now all I have to do is wait. Pause and abide for someone who will accompany me through this current bullshit phase. Someone insane who'll make me believe in love again. Some demented dude who will go "all in" not in games, but just for crazy old me :)
9 comments:
Don't wait, move forward! Someday you will be able to find your prince and submit into these words:
"We fit together so well...it's like pieces of a puzzle, the way your hand fits the curve of my hip and the way my head rests on your shoulder, the way our hands just melt into one, and the way I feel complete when I'm with you...like the picture's finally completed and I'll never have to wonder what I'm missing.”
-somerandomdude
That was beautiful. Will do somerandomdude. I'm officially prepared to whatever hurdle that may come my way. Taking kicking-ass 101 will be number 1 in my list! Lol. Thank you. :)
That's the right attitude! Before you know it, those pain will be over soon, and a completely better YOU will be born. (=
-somerandomdude
I wonder who you are. You are definitely no stranger. And positively not some random dude. I'm going to beat the shit out of you if I know you! :p
Not! Hate to disappoint you, but I really am a stranger. In case you really want to release some of your anger, I'm certainly willing to be your punching bag and beat the shit out of me. (=
-somerandomdude
Lol. That cracked me up! Uhh. Now this is REALLY awkward. Haha. So you're telling me you genuinely just so happen to pass my blog? Talk about coincidence! Surprisngly an effective adviser and a willing human punching bag. Now you are officially being too kind. Lol
Passing by? Well..kinda like that. Haha. For starters I'm not a creeper, if my memory serves me right, I just happen to know you back during pRO days. Me, kind? maybe, since in my book girls should be treated well (not selling right?). Lol
-somerandomdude
I came across to this quote while checking my fb news feed then I remember you, just want to share.
"You were so in love yesterday but now you can't feel anything at all. You better wake up and see the reality that the man you once loved was not the same man you have loved before. Better let him go than to prolong the pain you feel inside."
-somerandomdude
That was piercingly good. It hit just the right spot. Thank you.
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