How often do you cry? Do you even cry at all? If you haven't, I pity you yet I envy you at the same time. I feel sorry for you for the fact that you will sob a couple of times eventually, whether you dodge it all your life, trust me, you will. And when the dreaded time comes and you do finally tear up, you'd say that Rose was dead on correct. I envy you. Because you'd still live as if you will never be touched, never feel pain. You will still live life fully. Without caution, without looking back. It is a dangerous life to live but it sure as hell one of the happiest times you'll ever be. Well just for now I guess..
I miss him. Not constantly.. But all the friggin time. The very drop of every tear. Every strike of pain. I'd be more than glad to endure just to get a glimpse of his face, hear his laugh, feel his touch.
Why can't I make that first step? Why the hell can't I escape? Why do I still cry myself to sleep? Why am I this fucking naive? Why do I, despite EVERYTHING, still love him with every ounce of my everything?
7 comments:
It's hard and I know how you feel. I even question God upon taking that kind of pain. Who says love was the greatest gift of all, if it was as dangerous as a knife? =/
-somerandomdude
What's up "somerandomdude"? Wasn't expecting that it would be this awkward to actually talk to some-random-dude reading my awfully intimate posts. Lol. But anyways. That's totally my point. It is most certainly the most precious gift anyone could ever give as well as receive. Though when it is lost, it really damages you. The question is, was that love worth all the pain?
maybe or maybe not? I don't really know what to say. Well, you can try counting all those days that you were happy but the big question is, are those moments or feelings really sincere? are those words that he says were all true and not filled with lies? love is really a big mystery..
-somerandomdude
Yep. Love is a big ball of why's and what if's. No one really knows. And no one ever will. UNLESS. The person to blame for all these questions gives the answer himself. Which will never happen. Which is why love will forever remain unknown. Which means this is the end of this love-is-mystery issue. The only thing to do now is to figure out where the hell to begin towards moving on.
Try to get busy on something, things that you wanna do which you haven't really tried before. Go out with your friends. It's going to be a tough battle and a long process, but things like this makes you a better person. Get up, show 'em what you really got and make him regret leaving a wonderful person like you. (=
-somerandomdude
Why thank you kind stranger. Lol. I'd be doing just exactly that. I agree that obstacles like this would make anyone a better individual. Maybe excessively cautious, but most definitely stronger I'll start by keeping my fingers crossed. And double my prayers to The Big Guy for you too. This world could use a couple of randomdudes like you. Thank you again, somerandomdude. Long live the introspectively challenged! :)
Well, thank you also! You'll always have my support, hopes and prayers. (:
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