Is it possible to feel both the anguishes of pain and the numbness of the cold at the same time? They say that the cold numbs you. It tricks every single vein into transporting the signals of pain straight to our credulous minds and then sends it out through the nostrils instead. A sort of deranged yet still an entertaining way of looking at it, right? Though despite all my efforts in rationalizing these in my quirky ways, it still hurts. Burns and fades the numbness' miracles.
I had no idea the coldest could ever be colder. I am not talking about some lover's love here, Internet. I have been clear to have been over that. Though it still exists, I can no longer pretend and mock you guys with the bigger issue, the entire picture.
I have a father. A living, breathing biological "papa". Though what seems to be perfectly "normal" to me turns out to be a helluva lie. I was entrapped by crudeness, the warmth that was deprived from me. I was lurking in a jacked up fairytale I creatively made up inside this humongously callow head. It could have been either an accidental feat or a humored coincidence. Who's to decide?
I cannot bring my self to lay down each and every word, the unfortunate truths. You may think I am some strong weirdo for carrying all these right above my bruised shoulders. You are dead wrong. I'm weak. Unyielding but vulnerable. I keep everything in. Not giving any shit about the possibility of exploding. The dilatory fact that I will eventually burst into sad, insignificant particles carelessly diffusing in the air.
Make my heart beat. Convince me that I am in fact, breathing and, well... Alive.
3 comments:
Really something for All Saint's Day. I knew, just now, that you love blogging.
Can I call you a 'Walking Time Bomb'? 'Cause I know you. You really are like that. You always keep everything to yourself. It won't hurt if you share something, right? I used to be the same, the person who feels like he doesn't need anyone to share his emotions, but once you tried, it can really be a life-changer. Just try, for once, for me? :>
Remember, not everyone can sense what you're feeling. You must tell or show them. 'cause some insensitive persons are somewhat sensitive. I mean, they can't feel it or tell right away but once they know, they'll surely know what to do and how to react and know what you need to somehow lessen the grudges or disappointment inside you. Deuces! (Peace Sign)
Oh, and I thank you and I miss you.
I am trying stranger. I really am. Thank you. That means a lot. Who are you?
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