YOUTUBE Conundrums

Hey there. It's Rosey. Stuck yet again in a seemingly familiar corner of this virtual universe. I have this dilemma. It has been over my shoulders for quite some time, constantly breathing down my neck. Heavy, bother-troublesome. And it is starting to itch. Scratching not just the surface but piercing through my core. The kind that you just cannot ignore.

Ah the Youtube. Such a gift to the human society. Its content extends to lengths no one can ever measure nor define. Whatever it is that you are in need for, desperately life-threatening or during a casual, nonchalant "internet stroll", you can guarantee to find it there. In a simple 30 second gist, or a lengthy and complex hour version. I love Youtube! I mean who wouldn't? I go there every single day. (make-up, baking/sugar flower making, aliens, vlogs, foodporn, cute puppies, grocery hauls, exotic snacks, history, art, science, just plain "did you know" facts) Ahhhh I could go on and on. It is so condensed and dynamic, you can literally spend months making your way through this labyrinthine network of everything in this planet. It entertaining, educational, therapeutic AND can be one's source of income. What else can you ask for?

Now. I have been creating a few videos, on and off for quite a while now. My content is mainly my baking/food and a few attempted "vlogs". I could proudly say that I have genuinely worked hard on these. Though I guess not hard enough. I keep losing my mojo and motivation. Making them, not trusting myself enough, disappointments, frustrations. The same old the ugly cycle. I do have to say that what I have gotten from making videos is, I have fallen in love with it. My videos are not artistic nor professionally shot. I use my humble Sony RX100 III. I don't see myself doing this full-time, as I am committed into making my baby Rosey Cakes a priority. But the times when I watch some of my videos, and then smile and say, "Hey, that's actually not pretty bad." and "Ahhh, that is so much better than the last one!". These are the moments that give me the same feeling of fulfillment everytime I finish a sugar flower or a painting. It pushes me to continue and work harder. To make this as part of my life.

So now I challenge myself. To do better. Put more "me" inside. And don't think about the money, failure, hate comments etc. I have to start somewhere. And that somewhere is now.

Rebooting and hungry,

Rosey

PS.

I shall take one month to reboot my Youtube channel. Put more of what I love in it! Wish me luck and stay tuned!

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

To you, the bully, the bullied. And to you, who have been both.

The world is an endless void of harsh, ugly and dire corners that lures you in like a gold mine. The human race, racing through life for survival. And as you may have seen from countless zombie-apocalyptic movies, when human beings thrive desperately to stay alive, things get pretty ugly. 

I have been bullied and the bully at one point in my life. And to be completely honest, being the bully was much worse. I felt exceedingly awful I could have thrown up my organs. Bullying is a contagious disease. It is a sneaky little criminal that will slither its way into your heart and turn it into a hollow, black chunk of muscle. It will cloud your thoughts, empower you with a false, negative energy that will consume every living cell in your body. With my experience, I was bullied quite early. I was ganged up on pettily by older cousins, to the point I would constantly have tears in my eyes and anger in my immature heart. That would then on evolve into my unfair advance toward my other vulnerable younger cousins. I had friends who I poured my heart out to for comfort, but turned out to be the very ones who, behind my back, break it. Repeatedly. I had older school mates, bully me for the reason of, "We just don't like you.". I mean, some would ask, "Does that really happen?". Well it is the unfortunate, sad truth.

Short Story:

It was recess and the "older" school mates suddenly appear outside my classroom looking for me, and asked if I would write in their slambook. I was definitely shocked and had this sudden, uncomfortably tight knot in the pit of my stomach. Before they went on to leave and hand me the slambook, my best friend was already beside them, trying to snatch the said book away. She did not succeed and as confused as I was, the book ended up in my hands with their instruction to turn it to a page. It was my best friend's entry, the dedication containing, well let's just say, not so nice things about me and a couple of sentences explaining that she was on their side. As I had dropped the book that fell on the floor, so did my heart.

The end. Or should I say, "The Beginning"?

Now you see, as hurt as I was then, now I can see clearly that my best friend just simply got the bully virus. And that she was a victim too. And so might have been those other girls. As a young girl, you wouldn't know why or how these things are happening. All I could do was react and adapt. It made me dodgy and indifferent. I had an over reacted defense mechanism. Whenever I felt threatened, I would quickly hide inside my titanium cave, my heavy ammunitions in hand. I felt I was in a war. A war with my own struggling self. I had this bitter taste in my mouth that no amount of candy will ever neutralize. I was young, confused and helpless. It was an unsightly cycle that I couldn't get out of. To add a cherry top of this terrifying-abominable-life-sundae, I was constantly drowning in other darker problems that no human should ever, ever go through. Up to this day, I still get nightmares about that unspeakable event of my life. It is an issue that is unforgivable. I just don't have the strength to say it out loud. Maybe I will never be able to. But at the same time, in a way, it made me stronger. A part of me didn't want to be victim anymore. Though I had to face these all on my own. The fact that I was waking up everyday, breathing and curious. Got me thinking, "Hey, silly, you have to get up."

I had to give myself a chance. I had to save myself. Bullying is a crime we are all guilty of committing. Sometimes, without even knowing it. Whether you are the doer, receiver or juggling both roles. You are not alone. And that it is okay. Life is unfair in so many ways, we do not even have to bother counting. Bullying is only a tiny dent compared to a world that is slowly killing itself. The constant thing we are privileged to have is change. To choose to have a clean slate each time we make a mistake. That hate is out there and growing, but know that love is much stronger and unyielding. We will always and forever have a choice. We can always choose to make things better, do better, BE better.


Hungry for change,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

Strawberry Shortcake (SUGAR SORCERY # 9)

Ahhh.. The Strawberry Shortcake. The only thing that this dessert is short of is its supply. You know what I mean when you are down to the last unfortunate bite of this classic dessert. Sad times..

It has taken over multiple countries by a tumultuous storm. Japan for one, just to my fickle liking, our Japanese cake-making friends has transformed this delite into its light, airy, not-so-sweet and fresh form. It is unpretentious. The delicateness of the sponge and cream balances the tangy kick of a beautifully ripe crimson strawberry. Now in history, the cake lovers of the past has made cakes "short" by adding shortening (fat in forms of lard, butter, vegetable oils etc.). And from the magic of culinary science, the fat in food, particularly in baked goods such as breads and cakes, impedes the formation of gluten. Fat actually performs multiple functions, such as "shortening" or tenderizing (making baked good more crumbly), leavening and retaining moisture. I can go on and on about the fat's culinary wonder. LIGHTBULB! Mental note: make a new series about food science. (A deep deep passion of mine as well). So enough science talk and let us all enjoy this deliciously scientific dessert! I promise you that it will never cut your satisfaction short!

Classic Strawberry Shortcake

Joconde Sponge

90 grams powdered sugar

105 grams almond meal

150 grams whole eggs

30 grams plain flour

25 grams melted butter

90 grams egg whites

45 grams sugar

Bake @ 180 degrees Celsius for 20 minutes

Stabilised Whipped Cream

150 grams whipped cream

1 pc or 4 grams gelatin leaf (pork or vegetable based)

*remember to bloom your gelatin (soak in iced water)

Strawberry Jam

Fresh Strawberries

TRY THIS BLUEBERRY SHORTCAKE TOO!

In no forms short of hunger,

Rosey

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

Fight with love!

Before another SUGAR SORCERY post, I thought I would again channel a few worrisome, rambling thoughts into gibberish words and send it once again, to my beloved, the always reliable, unyielding stars. And of course, share all these with you too. You with that beautiful face lit up by the screen. Hello there.

In all the dark, the bad and the ugly the world contains and breeds, a single lit match is all it takes to make a difference. To light your own and another's lost soul into a path toward brighter, greener pastures. I ran again into an ancient post by an equally ancient friend that, still with its petty, nonsensical content, it still hurt me. It is so easy to do it nowadays, hiding behind a computer monitor, typing away to damage someone indefinitely. It's not just the lies, the rampant defamation, but the feeling of deceit. That someone who you, despite it being a short time, have loved truly as a sister, would have hate in their heart towards you. My mother would say these kind of people are not worth your time, nor space in your thoughts. But the hurt I felt was real. Still. I have forgiven 5 years ago. And would never take it back. To fight hate with love will forever be the brighter and greener path.

To you, who have felt that weakening, piercing hurt from someone, by someone you love or a total wandering stranger, intentionally or not, physically or in any form. Love them. Love them harder. Love them unconditionally. The world really needs it. Now more than ever.

Always hungry for love,

Rosey

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

Classic Orange Chiffon Cake (SUGAR SORCERY # 8)

This may be the equivalent of the classic Cinderella fairy tale in magical bakery folktale. In fact, one of my all time favorites.

The Chiffon Cake should be synonymous to the name Harry Baker. And do take note: ironically, he is not a baker, but an insurance salesman living in Los Angeles, California. There is a debate as to how or what has brought him to the land of the stars. Some say, it was the world's ignorant unfairness to homosexuality, particularly in his small hometown. Whatever the serendipitous reason was, we are thankful. It all began when he started moonlighting as a caterer, with the humble cake as his desiderata. He later on confessed that he has experimented with over 400 cake recipes, baking night after night, and never stopped until he has finally achieved cake perfection. It is as light as an angel food cake but in many ways moister and richer, hitting all elements of what a cake should be. By 1927, he started to venture out to Brown Derby restaurant, (the Cobb salad's birthplace), and sold his cakes as the place's only dessert option. Being an instant hit, he has continued to operate as a one-man-cake-making-machine, sending out 42 whole cakes a day, baking each and every sweet morsel to order. By 1947, 20 years later, Baker, the only living person knowing how to concoct the famous Chiffon Cake, has decided to sell his valuable secrets to General Mills (as to how much is still disclosed). Countless frustrated hearts attempted to reproduce his masterpiece, but no one ever came close. All I know is, none of them surely tried 400 times enough.

Orange Chiffon Cake

135 ml freshly squeezed orange juice

zest of 4 oranges

5 ml orange liquor

168 grams plain flour

11 grams baking powder

175 grams raw sugar

4 grams salt

3 egg yolks

4 egg whites

50 grams raw sugar

90 grams vegetable oil

bake at 180 degrees Celsius for 40-45 minutes

400 times hungrier,

Rosey

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

Leche Flan (Crème Caramel) (SUGAR SORCERY #7)

The egg is a magical ingredient. And so when the Ancient Romans has started the domestication of poultry, hence discovering the countless applications of eggs, came the birth of various egg preparations including a savoury dish, the "eel flan", with dessert custard version also in existence flavoured with honey and pepper. With Europe under their wing, their culture and traditions spread across the nation. The food being a significant part of it. Several versions of the original "flan" was translated into sweet and savoury dishes. Its ingredients ranging from, almonds and cinnamon to cheese and fish. It was enjoyed often during the Lent season as this is the period when meat is prohibited. The caramel element was added when the flan traditions reached France and to the rest of the hungry world.

   

Leche Flan (Crème caramel)

10 egg yolks

400 grams condensed milk

400g grams evaporated milk

150 grams sugar

(for caramel)

oven-proof moulds

foil

Steam for 30-35 minutes

**Let the flan completely cool before unmolding.

Hungry and eggy,

Rosey

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

Coconut Kaya Jam (Traditional Singapore Breakfast/Snack) (SUGAR SORCERY # 6)

Truly the breakfast of champions! Snack, meal or dessert, whatever you want to make it, this dish will inevitably leave a lasting impression on that foodie taste buds of yours. It plays with the sweet and savoury duo flavour that satisfies both that craving itch we usually get during our first and in-between meals.

Kaya in Malay, the Indonesian srikaya, kalamay-hati for the Filipinos. In the malay language, kaya, translates to the word rich, the texture of the said spreadable gold. It has been said that it is an adaptation of the Indian word khoya or kova, an Indian milk custard that is often the base of desserts, together with the many cultures that the Malay people had acquired from fellow Indian traders. The "jam/custard" is basically made up of eggs/egg yolks, coconut milk, sugar, and pandan leaves. Variations in textures, color and levels of sweetness differs from one country to another. In Singapore, it is eaten in between two slices of soft, crustless white bread, with the disputed pair of soft boiled eggs bathing in thick dark soy sauce and white pepper, and of course, fragrant black kopi or coffee meddling with snow white condensed milk.

Go watch and kaya away!

Kaya (Coconut Custard Jam)

80 grams egg yolks

50 grams muscuvado sugar

20 grams caster sugar

200 ml coconut milk

3-4 pandan leaves

crustless white bread

salted butter

2 eggs

dark soy sauce

white pepper

Hungry in Singapore,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

Palmier (SUGAR SORCERY # 5)

The "Palm Tree" in French. Also goes by names "Coeur de France", "Jalebi", "Glasses, and "Pig's Ear. Variation from Spain, the sopaipillas. The Afghan, elephant ears. Easily identified by its heart/butterfly shape, one can readily point at this pastry in any bakery and shout, "A dozen Palmiers, sil vous plait!". One is just not enough. It is pronounced as palm-YAY. With YAY as the perfect word to describe it.

The origin of palmiers' significant existence is unfortunately undocumented. Its early recipes dated back in the turn of the 20th century. In fact, an old recipe for "palm trees" is found in Viennese Cooking, O. and A. Hess (Crown: New York) 1960, page 213 was found. Many similar forms of this pastry around the world are out there. Consumed by blissfully daydreaming humans in different parts of the globe. It is made of Pâte Feuilletée or Traditional Puff Pastry. Laminated, rolled and cut into its heartwarming signature shape.

Palmier Recipe

Pâte Feuilletée:

 200g plain flour

7g salt

100g cold water

50g melted butter

100g dry butter

(NOTE: Now finding dry butter at your local grocery store might be tricky. Generally US made butter is about 80% butterfat, 17% water and 3% protein. European butters have about 82-83% butterfat. Dry butter's fat content goes up to 86%! You can use the best quality butter you can find. Though the lamination process will be slightly difficult as your butter will melt faster.)

Sugar Mixture:

100g white caster sugar -I used vanilla sugar. Made it 200% times better! Just pop in an emptied vanilla pod into an air tight container of regular sugar and let the vanilla's powers do its magic! ;)

Bake at 180 degrees Celsius for 20-25 minutes

With a hungry heart,

Rosey



YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

Pâte Feuilletée "Traditional Puff Pastry" (SUGAR SORCERY # 4)

Food history is as rich as it's going to get. I was always fascinated to where, how or why a dish was born. Getting to know a certain dish in an intimate level is as delicious as actually eating it. It gives the food soul, hence satisfies the consumer's soul as well.

Pâte Feuilletée, or most commonly known as Puff Pastry is thin layers of pastry dough and fat on top of each other, resulting in a light, crunchy, flaky, rich confection. It starts as the dough undergoes a process called lamination. The dough, or the détrempe envelopes a solid fat (usually butter) or beurrage, rolled and folded making layers and layers of dough and fat. 

Creation of this pastry is still debated up to this day. Some say a version of the puff pastry goes way back in the 13 century found in Spanish Arabic books. Back then, it was called muwarraga, meaning "leafy" in Arabic. Others would call it foliatil, translating "leafy" in medieval Spanish. Fast forward a couple hundred of years to 1645, where Claudius Gele, a baker's apprentice and artist, whipped up a layered dough and butter concoction for his sick father who was prescribed a diet consisting of flour, water and butter. Despite Gele's mentor's warnings that the fat will weep out of the pastry, he still went on and baked it. To both their pleasant surprise, the heavens sang and a golden cloud of thin layers came out of the oven. With his great invention on hand, he went to Paris and worked at Rosabau Pâtisserie. He then moved on to Florence and continued to spread his pastry wings.

Pâte Feuilletée (puff pastry dough recipe)

200g plain flour

7g salt

100g cold water

50g melted butter

100g dry butter

(NOTE: Now finding dry butter at your local grocery store might be tricky. Generally US made butter is about 80% butterfat, 17% water and 3% protein. European butters have about 82-83% butterfat. Dry butter's fat content goes up to 86%! You can use the best quality butter you can find. Though the lamination process will be slightly difficult as your butter will melt faster.)

Layered and hungry,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

Not-So-Fancy Financiers (SUGAR SORCERY # 3)

Beurre Noisette. One of the many gifts the French have bestowed upon us fortunate foodies. As its direct translation implies, hazlenut butter, which pretty much sums up its celestial flavor. Nutty, rich and smooth. It is personally one of my all time favourite tastes. Brown butter anything, and you count me in!

A financier (pronounced as fee-nahn-see-AY) is a small tea cake, often in a rectangular shape, is made of almonds, flour, sugar, egg whites and of course, the liquid gold, beurre noisette. It is a light, springy and moist cake, best eaten with a hot cup of tea. Its early consumption dated back in 1890, produced by the magical hands of pastry chef, Lasne, who revamped the traditional pastry originally made by the Vistadines or Visitation Sisters. His bakery, located at the Rue St. Denis was near the Paris Stock Exchange. And so as a marketing move, he has transformed the cake into a rectangular-shaped confection to emulate a gold bullion or gold bar. Before you know it, business people in France carried a financier inside their pockets for a quick snack after dealing with actual gold bars. Pooof, the unyielding financier was miraculously born and so has survived the test of time! Selling like hotcakes near or far any financial district! GOLD!

Financier Recipe

145g icing sugar

53g almond flour

55g cake

2g baking powder

1g salt

10g brown sugar (preferably muscovado)

180g egg whites

80g brown butter

Bake at 180 degrees Celsius for about 17-20 minutes.

Perpetually Beurre Noisette hungry,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

French Macaron Troubleshooting (SUGAR SORCERY # 2)

Let me tell you a short story of how I have hopelessly and defencelessly fell in love with the French Macaron. Before studying pastry and bakery here in Singapore, I have always been fascinated with this mysterious confection. I have a thing for cookies. The classic chocolate chip always has and will have a special place in my sugar-coated heart. And so I considered the macaron as a "fancier" and not really for masses type of confection. Almonds are now considered on the pricier side and not easily accessible in the Philippines. But the the curious food wanderer in me, of course, wanted to see for myself what really the sugary fuss is about. The science behind the macaron is as complex as human genetics. A slight tweak here and there can make the biggest difference in your finished product. And so, after months of delving into this beautiful craft, macaroning, today, I can say with all confidence, from the bottom of my heart, I love you, my sweet sweet, macaron. I really do.

When we had our french macaron class at pastry school, oh boy let me tell you, was it one of my favourite days of my life. The very next day, I went to TOTT Singapore and went ahead with my eyes closed, bought my very first Kitchenaid (Heavy Duty) with solely producing the best macaron in the whole entire universe in mind. The satisfaction of a perfect macaron batch is as close to nirvana. Like biting into the perfect chocolate bar and hearing angels sing.

And so, to make your human busy lives easier than my confection perfection obsessed life, I share you this troubleshooting tips and tricks that will save your valuable life!

Don't forget to check out my previous post for my recipe!

French Macaron 101

Watch this compilation of failed attempts and why it happened that caused sleepless nights. This is just scratching the surface! I had countless trials that ended up in the confection grave. Sad, sad times..

ENJOY!

Cracked

• top oven heat is too strong
• oven temperature is too high
• under mixing batter / meringue
• not aged egg whites

Flat

• over mixed meringue / batter
• batter will be too runny

Lumpy

• under mixed batter
• pan not tapped 
• air bubbles not popped with toothpick
• almond meal too coarse

Not round / odd shape

• even / warped pan
• piping technique
• reusing parchment

No "feet"

• humidity
• macarons not rested after piping
• under mixed batter
• macarons will be sticky

Uneven / bursting "feet"

• bottom heat too strong
• uneven / warped pan
• too high oven temperature
• "hot spots" in the oven

Thin / hollow shells

• under mixed meringue / batter
• over mixed meringue
• batter will be too thick to pipe

Browning

• oven temperature too high
• "hot spots" in the oven

Start your macaroning!


Hungry and hungry,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

French Macaron 101 (SUGAR SORCERY # 1)

What better way to start my "food blog" aka "sugar sorcery" journey than with French Macarons. Pronounced as mah-ka-ROHN. Mmmmm, just the sound of macaron, makes my sugary insides tingle. If you share the burden of being a temperamental perfectionist with me, this is the "perfect" confection for you. A lot is taken into consideration in this mind-boggling dessert. The macaron is just as temperamental. Trust me, I had my fair share of tear-my-hair-out-frustrations in achieving that perfect macaron. I will go ahead and give you the gist of how this heaven-in-a-bite came about.

A humble macaron is a cookie, made of fine almond meal, sugar and egg whites. Often mistaken as the equally coveted, coconut macaroon, who is equally delicious but is in a totally different sugary spectrum. In 1533, our girl Catherine de' Medici of Italy and her army of pastry chefs introduced this confection to France upon marrying Henry II. The name is derived from the Italian word maccherone, possibly from maccare, to bruise, batter, crush. The modern macaron has evolved into different forms and shapes. Pierre Herme, Laduree, Bouchon, Aoki, a few names that is on top of the macaroning game. The flavors today ranges from chocolate, sea foam to frois gras. Macaroners upping their game everyday. Its usual exotic fillings are based on ganache, jams, cremeux, and buttercream. It is traditionally round, flat on top, with its signature "feet" as its unique crowning glory. Aesthetically, how the perfect macaron should look like is subjective. But all the same delicious.

So without further ado, let the macaroning begin!

The Rosey French Macaron Recipe:

100 grams aged egg whites (seperated a day ahead and stored in the refrigerator)

30 grams sugar

5 grams egg white powder

125 grams finely ground almonds
225 grams powdered sugar

Baked at 140 degrees Celsius for 18-20 minutes



Go on below and watch you beautiful, macaroner!

Macaron check list:

Tools and arsenal: piping bag, piping tip # 8, baking sheet/parchment
The meringue: HARD peak
Almond + Sugar mixture: run through finger tips / sifted
Macaroning: folded until the batter has a "tail"
Tapping the pan: get rid of those air bubbles
Toothpick is you bestfriend: make sure you get rid of bubbles / lumps on top
Drying: humidity is your enemy, dry to the touch
Baking: low and steady
Shell + Filling fridge time


Click on this link for Macaron Troubleshooting >> Macaron Troubleshooting



Stay tuned for more sugar sorcery! Part II coming soon, troubleshooting, and why's and how to's!


Hungry and proud macaroner,

Rosey

YOUTUBE
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM

GOAL!

Hello there! This is your friendly ol' virtual neighbourhood alien correspondent reporting. Rosey is the name and finding one's purpose is now my game.

I started this blog 5 long years ago wearing my hello kitty night gown, my perpetually enlarged eye bags (more like luggage) fully intact, I was 10 lbs of tear-weight lighter, shards of my heart on the floor shattered into countless pieces. I was in a state that no woman wants to admit she has been through. I was helplessly soul-broken. This is the problem I share with intensely passionate people. We love the hardest, but fall and breakdown immensely hard as well. We might even lose our minds along the way. We can't help it. We love hard or just don't love at all.

I wrote what my heart said. What my soul screamed. What my mind debated and argued. I threw all of these thoughts out in the vast void. Not asking for any answers nor solutions, really. I just wanted to let it all out. If I didn't, if I had let these consume me, I would have inevitably exploded. My microscopic remains drifting in the air. Now you see, I didn't even in the slightest way, attempted to search for someone to save me. It might have been fear that kept me from finding love again. Might have been fatigue too. Love has drained all forms of energy in my body, and so I needed to recuperate.

I didn't even see it coming. One day, I was a male wizard killing pixelated monsters on my Ipad, made pixelated armor-wearing friends, a swordsman, a priest, multiple characters you would never meet else where. I was incognito, top player of the entire game. The next minute, I was seeing a stranger everyday. "Dating" in fact. A cold, reflecting flat screen in between us. And before I could even say chocolate peanut butter cups, I had a ring on my finger. The heavy and beautiful kind.

Our story is meant to be written as a novel. Ah, maybe a comic book! It surely is funny now that I have come to think of it. A modern pixelated fairy tale that is yet to be written.

Now that love has come into my life so unexpectedly, I think it is about time to work on the other things that will fuel that galactic love hence fuel the essences of my galactic life. I feel dumbfounded for not being able to keep up with the demands of this life. "Adulthood" is what they call it now I hear. I am not sure how I feel about that term. To me it should be just life. Yours and theirs. Plain, bedazzled, laced, spiked, however you want to make it. "Aldulthood" makes it sound like a chore. Which is the farthest thing of what I want to call this stage of my life. Making that first strong step and the preceding just as strong steps is the struggle. I want to do the things I love and do things that I am good at. Do them the very best I could. That's the goal.

I want to write everyday. Like what I said, just catapult my mind juices into the boundless void! Just do it. And along the way fish out ideas and breakthroughs that wouldn't have been dug out inside this brain if I didn't. I want to share more. BE more. Let's do it, fellow galactic wanderer! We might be a little late. But we can do it!

Signing off and hungry,

Rosey


YOUTUBE
INSTAGRAM
TWITTER

Shine that light!

Greetings beautiful creature of this world!

I am not sure how or why I bumped into your beautiful soul here. But nevertheless, welcome to my humble, feeble, boundless, virtual mind bin. There are no rules here. No genre/categories. No filters. We are all friends in this strange corner of the inter web. You are now my friend. *warm warm, squishy hugs*

I have come to the conclusion that I am running out of time. The hands of time stop ticking for no one. And I feel like I have not caught up with the realities of this lifetime. Every single nano second that we deter ourselves from what the universe has set us to, we stand farther and farther from our destiny. We all have a place in this world. Big or small, we matter. We have a purpose. Our very breath signifies our worth. Our contribution to mother earth.

So the next time you feel like you are a nobody. When you start doubting yourself and hide beneath your sheets. When all you see in front of a mirror is failure and disappointment. Look at the stars. They see you. And they are waiting.

So let's go, virtual friend. We have no time to lose! We have a lot to do! Shine that light!

Trying to shine and hungry,

Rosey

**go on and pass that warm squishy hug! Some one might need it today!

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

I miss you, Philippines.

Never have I thought I'd one day be living in a different country. A country where its inhabitants speak different languages, pray to different gods, their houses built on top of each other. It's beautiful. Singapore. Stern and concrete subdued by the ethereal nature. Clean. Safe and straightforward. I have fallen in love not only with a beautiful human but to the beauty of Singapore itself.

Here's the thing. I am about to hit my head with a humility baton, and remind myself I am lucky to be with the person I want to spend my life with. Being a Filipino, with thousands of fellow Filipinos scattered around the world, unable to spend a birthday, a Christmas, all the good and anticipated times of the year, and worse, the bad ones too. Stuck at their desks, taking care of another's child, aiding a disabled, saving a life. When the very ones that matter to them most are infinite miles away, the stars being the sole witnesses of their sorrows.

I miss the Philippines. Mainly because 99% of the occupants of this aching heart are there right this very moment. Some may be snoozing, or is trying to since the karaoke machine next door is too loud. Or having a classic food trip in one of the countless eating stops that grow there like mushrooms overnight. And boy, do I miss my mama's cooking. Don't get me started on those Adobo Squid with coconut milk. Oh my sweet baby Jesus. Love you ma!

I miss my family and friends. So so terribly, achingly much. Is it weird to say my laugh is different here than in Pinas? I don't know how to explain it. It's a muscle I don't get to use as much anymore. It's not sad. It's different, I guess. Somehow an adaptation? Evolution? Indigestion? Who knows? But what I do know for a fact is that I am genuinely and insurmountably happy. I have used that word too many times these past few days. Its meaning becoming clearer and clearer every day since I have begun this new life. This new shining leaf. It's all about contentment. Knowing your needs and wants. Weighing them. Differentiating them. Decisions being made and committing to them. I chose to be happy. Made and continuously making decisions to stay happy.

How about you,wandering reader? How happy is your wandering soul?

'til next time.

Yours and hungry,

Rosey

PS.

I present to you semi VLOGS or attempts in the Philippines that made me oh so nostalgic. Did I mention I do youtube now? Yeah, I know. Weird right? Might I add it is, all of this is, undeniably therapeutic.

ENJOY!

YOUTUBE

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

3:00 AM Chit Chat

Two posts in two days.. *brush the shoulder*

Hehe.. Hello there. It's Rosey. Back at it again. Or at least trying to.

It's feels so weird writing with these same rough fingertips, but in a totally different spirit. Hence, the feeling of a some what out of body experience. The feeling of my skin against letters in bright red lighting. My thoughts being sifted through a system I am not sure how the brain processes. But it does. It works. A pause. Bite the lip. Find the right word. Arrange. Organise. Press. Magic.

Let's start with the things I have stuck with since five years ago.

FOOD. Particularly, pastry and bakery. Well folks, if there's anything in this fickle world I will stick to. It undoubtedly is food. All the edible sorcery the world has, will, and is producing is a blessing we all often take for granted. And shamelessly abuse. I am proud to have graduated this year in Singapore. And have pursued what my heart set me out to. I have been obsessively crafting sugar flowers for couture cakes. That I hopefully one day would make into as a full-time career. I am in love with this art. It's patient, beautiful, so thoughtful and sweet all at the same time. I have always loved drawing. I would spent hours my nose touching my sketch pad, translating how I see the world onto paper. It eventually got me into painting. And doing these edible flowers just satisfies that artistic itch. Each time I make a flower, I learn something different, the slightest curve, delicate crevices that need the utmost attention and care. I love it more and more.

BOOKS. I read every day. Every single dilatory day. As much as I love other things. This is just the water to my plant. The gas to my car. The vinegar to my Adobo. No contest. The feels a really good book makes me feel.. Orgasmic. It can make you cry like a deprived toddler. Laugh like a hysterical hyena. Fall in love like Bridgette Jones. Even a mediocre book sends me vibes and ideas that I will never get from somewhere else. If you're not a reader I don't blame you. As a friend, please take the time to read. Once you find the right kind of book for you, you will be a literature addict. And I will apologise in advance for taking a ginormous chunk of your life. Because you will spend hours and hours staring at words that will pierce right through your core you wouldn't even notice a second of your life ticking away. Khaled Hosseini is your man. Start with his Kite Runner. Followed by A Thousand Splendid Suns. You're welcome.

2:55 am. Score!

Smile for me will you? The world needs it.

Hungry,

Rosey

YOUTUBE

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

Hello. It's me. I was wondering....

Adele is a goddess. *cue in Hello by Adele*

And so it begins again.... 5 year later. *phew*

I think I had become of what I had expected to be. More and less at the same time. Well I am, thanks to human genetics, older. To the human environment and tendencies, rougher. To human prerequisite participation, achy-er. But due to self loathing and adamant self denial, most definitely, not any wiser. Double but, because of a former distant pixelated virtual friend, and the now unyielding, ever so loving husband of mine, blissfully happier. It's actually unadulterated, the truth.. It is the kind of happy I thought people only made up for fun. You know, just to rattle our insides. For fun.

The H word. I myself cannot believe it. If I was reading this 5 years go, I'd slap myself left and right until I wake up from this dream. No, erase that, until I wake up from this delusion. Oh my goodness gracious great goblets of fire. A wife at 24. Who would have thought?

I spent the day reading each and every post I unpublished since I started this blog in 2011. (That is now re-published) I have to admit. Some were unbearably painful. Some annoyingly witty and funny. Most made me, stupidly, tear up. But all gave me this exact same feeling that is running through my whole body to my fingertips as I type. There are no words on how to describe it. Think of Tinkerbell's pixidust in liquid form being injected intravenously. That tingly, sparkling, jittery juice you feel running through your veins. I missed this. I missed writing. I missed this feeling of some how translating my wandering, repressed thoughts into these miraculous letters. My hands get me. They understand. They obey. Unlike this stubborn mouth that disagrees with me. It has this filter that rejects the signals my brain sends and decides to be either completely mute or spastic or both.

I have a lot to tell you. Knowing where to begin is the difficult part. Well I got the awkward, "Hey, I'm married!" part covered. I guess we just have to improvise as we go.

I missed you. And you don't have to miss me too. Just letting you know I really do.

I was wondering.... How are you?

Still hungry even after 5 years,

Hungry Rosey

YOUTUBE

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM